suffice it to say, there is a backstory to this post which includes wee bee and snowpile having a falling out. after falling out, wee bee rebounded. wee bee thought “here is just a really nice guy going out of his way to help me.” she neglected to care for the first few days of knowing him that every time he opened his mouth she wanted to punch him in the face.
still, in the aftermath of her relationship with snowpile, wee bee felt this guy was okay. for a while. she knew she would probably not be capable of tolerating him for long, but his constant texting, calling and showing up at her house with movies and food kept her from degrading into crying on the couch and listening to depressing music on repeat for days on end. which is what she likely would have done if the dude who fucks children and animals hadn’t come into her life.
she really felt guilty about sleeping with him at first, in all honesty. she realized after she did it that she was a terrible person still hung up on snowpile, and this poor guy just got caught up in wee bee’s emotional rebound and ended up with strong feelings of likeability for wee bee. as the days progressed, wee bee felt more and more guilty as he made his strong feelings extra clear.
good thing for wee bee, his extra strong feelings came in the flavor of psychopath ex-husband, and very quickly she did not feel guilty for this man. after only a few days of knowing her, he told everyone in his family and friend circle that he and wee bee were in an exclusive relationship. he even admitted to using the phrase “too bad; i have dibs” to one of his family members who wee bee had previously turned down.
wee bee: you have dibs?
dude who fucks children and animals (contorting the meaning of his original statement): well, what i mean is, you called dibs. right, you know? because you turned down [family member] but said yes to me. so technically you called dibs.
wee bee did not call dibs. wee bee agreed to one date after this man had helped her bring wolf bee home, and was not calling dibs nor had ever entered a conversation about being in an exclusive or serious relationship with this person, whom she barely knew in the first place. wee bee did what she does when she is in a relationship conundrum and called ashley bee.
ashley bee: he sounds like a clinger
wee bee: yeah, that could be it. idk. i think there’s something wrong with him.
ashley bee: maybe, but listen, he’s probably just an overly nice guy who comes on too strong and clings. you gotta end it soon bcs the longer it goes on with a clinger the worse it is getting rid of them.
wee bee’s friend pearl bee said essentially the same thing. wee bee was totally confused about whether or not this guy was a nice clinger or something sinister. it was a feeling she couldn’t shake. wee bee went to therapist bee.
wee bee: i gotta get rid of this guy
therapist bee (gives answer in the affirmative)
wee bee: idk if he’s a psychopath or not but i don’t really want to stick around long enough to find out.
well, this guy didn’t take hints well. he didn’t take hints at all. he twisted your hints into whatever he could to insist on spending time together. wee bee was finally done. as it turned out, the dude who fucks children and animals was rooming with a begenius wee bee hadn’t seen since high school. so after debating the appropriateness of this for two days, she facebooked this begenius from her past.
wee bee: let’s see if your genius is still working. you’ve lived with this guy for a few months now… psychological profile – go.
begenius: so before i say anything, do you like him or are you asking if it’s “not just you”
wee bee: at this point i’m certain he’s sketchy at best, psychopath at worst
as it turned out, this nice guy did not give wee bee his real name. thanks to the help of the begenius from her childhood years, she was able to google and find him and it as it turned out, he was a dude who fucks children and animals. he had convictions in multiple states. apparently he was in hiding in bee town. wee bee wasn’t sure why he was suddenly talking about moving out from the begenius’ place, but it’s because the night that he helped wee bee get wolf bee home, a police officer pulled over to see what was going on and ran his plates and he then became a registered sex offender in the state and was evicted.
wee bee went to the police first thing the next day. the dude who fucks children and animals knew she was a nanny for thing 1 and thing 2 and had told him where they go to school. his constant questions about them made her uneasy, so she never told him their names or information, but was in a fit of
omg omg omg he’s a pedophile omg omg
so she went to the police, who at this point, only knew of one conviction which they stated was within the previous year. wee bee informed the police bee that google had a lot more than whatever their system was coming up with, and police bee told wee bee to go to the school.
the school had no record of him as a registered sex offender, since he wasn’t registered until the wolf bee incident brought him out of hiding. wee bee had to google him and give that to the school principal. then she told off the dude who fucks children and animals by text, as per the police bee’s recommendation.
she is now set in her house for a full scale invasion. after sending the text, it occurred to wee bee that perhaps this would anger the dude who fucks children and animals. since he knows where she lives and that she lives alone, she set up her house home-alone style. every window and door is in some way booby trapped; she has a switch-blade, pepper spray, a hunting knife, two skillets, a carpenter’s hammer, a carving knife, a high-powered drill with a thick drill bit and last but not least, wolf bee. who already bit the dude. because wolf bee is awesome.
unfortunately, while wee bee alternates between fleeting senses of paranoia and “bring it on dude who fucks children and animals,” she is constantly struck by the extremely uncomfortable reality:
i fucked a dude who fucks children and animals