first off, wee bee would like it to be known that not all of these things are exact predictors of sociopathy or psychopathy. merely, they are a collection of gathered information regarding predictive behaviors of sociopaths/psychopaths. tonight, wee bee is feeling the “sociopath” word more than the “psychopath” word so she’ll go with that one (don’t get your panties in a knot if you’re of the “sociopaths feel some modicum of remorse and maybe have true feelings for people close to them” mindset… modernity says we can pretty much interchange them – so be it).
also, these characteristics, mannerisms, phrases, etc. are not exclusive to sociopathy. as a square can be a rectangle and that business, some antisocial personalities are not sociopathic ones while all sociopathic personalities are, by nature, antisocial. so if you find yourself displaying these attributes, it’s possible you’re not a sociopath at all. you might just be on the antisocial spectrum. to keep things perfectly reasonable, you might just be a complete asshole with a higher-than-average likelihood of being an abusive partner in any or every relationship anyone’s ever endured with you. in case you get confused, here’s a helpful diagram:
are you an asshole?
- q1) do you find yourself acting out in incredulous ways over things like french-fries?
- q2) how often, on a scale of one to all-the-time, do you use the phrase, “I’m so, so sorry but…” and follow it with something along the lines of “I was drunk,” “you were being [something that made me this way]” or, the classic, “…but I LOVE you!” (ten points for the appeals straight to feelings of affection such as “don’t be so mad – I love you! I care so much about you! I know you feel the same way, babe, so don’t do this to us!”
A: if your answers were yes to q1 and/or more-than-once-a-week to q2… you’re most likely an asshole. if your answer to q2 was the ten-pointer and/or all-the-time, you’re definitely an asshole. likely abusive or likely to become abusive and probably antisocial.
okay, so you’re an asshole. but… are you really antisocial?
- q1) do people often tell you that you’re an asshole?
A: if they do, this is likely due to your lack of respect for social norms, and can actually be filed into the antisocial category, not “just an asshole” category (sorry guys). with the example above from question 1, attacking the staff of McDonald’s for not giving you what you consider the proper amount of fries in your large fry container would put you into the “you’re an asshole” and definite antisocial behavior category, especially if similar behaviors are common (don’t worry, wee bee knows we all have our “fed up with this” crazy moments every now and again, and sometimes we may even go a little – or a lot – overboard, but if you react this way on a consistent basis, you’re probably an asshole with antisocial personality disorder).
- q2.1) have you been in jail, to rehab, or any other correctional facilities (especially court-mandated ones)?
q2.2) was your lock-up TOTES unjustified? unless, of course, you’re talking to a potential mate, in which case, you learned a valuable lesson?
q2.3) should you have gone to jail, rehab, or any other correctional facilities, but managed to get out of it and you feel just so proud of the way you maneuvered the system, outsmarted, outran, or out-lawyered the courts?
A: if yes to q2, another point for antisocial. two points if it was court-mandated. if yes to 2.2 or 2.3, skip ahead to “are you a sociopath?”
- q3) are you currently suffering from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder that is unstable?
A: it’s okay. we can’t label you as anything else clinically until we sort that out… even though the media loves them some stories of schizophrenics as dangerous beings. please return to this test at a later date when your other mental health issues are remiss.
- q4) do you use caps-lock like, all the time, cuz it means you’re super serious and you want the other person to understand you’re text-screaming?
q4.2) are you an animal meme?
A: sorry, but this goes into the antisocial clusterfuck unless you’re a teenager/possible-adult who’s just super excited about something. if you’re an animal meme, it’s okay. we expect these things.
- q5) do you just not give any shits?
A: lack of giving shits is actually tied to the overall lower anxiety of sociopaths, so another point for antisocial and an extra for sociopathy too!
- q6) have you ever used this or a similar phrase: “i’m not racist but…” (you can substitute any number of things for racist, such as sexist, classist, etc.)
A: first off, you are in fact racist. second of all, if you attempt to convince the other person to your way of thinking using even more convoluted and racist/sexist/etc. terminology, please save the world some time and skip ahead to driving your car into a brick wall.
okay, so you’re definitely an asshole, probably antisocial. but that’s all just a bunch of baloney anyway, right? another attempt by society to put a label on you for being who you are… *cough-antisocial-cough*… it’s no biggie. as probably already known by all who know you, you don’t give a shit.
but seriously, are you a sociopath?
- q1.1) do you find lying to others personally gratifying?
q1.2) when someone calls you out on a lie, do you fight back, refusing to let go of the lie, streaming a constant barrage of even more complicated lies at them until they consent to accepting your lie(s)?
q1.3) does this make you feel immensely powerful?
A: if yes to any and/or all of the above, you’re definitely antisocial and probably a sociopath.
- q2.1) do you feel pleasure from watching animals or humans suffer, especially in real-time either in person or from watching graphic online videos of horrible accidents, human or animal torture, or massive catastrophes?
- q2.2) do you watch these videos/events and feel guilty watching them, but somebody shared it and a part of you can’t help but continue watching the travesty?
A: if yes to 2.2, especially if you cover your face and/or say “oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh” repeatedly, feel your stomach plummet, and wonder why the world is so terrible… it’s okay. you’re not a sociopath. if yes to 2.1, meaning you don’t suffer from watching these sufferings, it’s highly likely you’re a sociopath. proceed to 2.3 and 2.4.
- q2.3) do you or did you ever laugh (and not self-consciously) from watching/witnessing these things?
- q2.4) do you, have you ever, or would you really like to capture animals and torture them?
A: answering yes to either of these is extreme evidence for a lack of empathy and hallmark signs of sociopathy.
- q3.1) do you have zero anxiety ever? (being angry because you feel you’re losing control over something/someone doesn’t count)
- q3.2) are your only real (not acted-out) feelings anger, apathy, pleasure/euphoria and desire?
A: having a marked lack of anxiety and fear responses are classic symptoms of sociopathy, as is pretending to have the much broader range of emotions within the capacity of most humans. in fact, the pretend game is another classical form of manipulation for sociopaths, and if you’re really good at being a sociopath, you probably fool a lot of people by mirroring/pretending to have a variety of emotional reactions or even emotional/psychiatric problems like panic attacks in order to get attention/money/sympathy/whatever it is you want that gives you your superiority and continues your hold over others.
so you think you’re a sociopath
it’s best you have zero contact with any person or living being, because you will constantly be trying to make yourself feel more powerful through various physical and psychological means of manipulation. your only goal in life is self-gratification, and the rest of us better help with that or get out of your way. it’s your game, your rules, your ways and you’ll be damned if you don’t come out the winner. you’re not necessarily going to become a mass murderer, but you’re going to purposefully harm and manipulate others at your whim the rest of your life.