how to know if you’re a sociopath

first off, wee bee would like it to be known that not all of these things are exact predictors of sociopathy or psychopathy. merely, they are a collection of gathered information regarding predictive behaviors of sociopaths/psychopaths. tonight, wee bee is feeling the “sociopath” word more than the “psychopath” word so she’ll go with that one (don’t get your panties in a knot if you’re of the “sociopaths feel some modicum of remorse and maybe have true feelings for people close to them” mindset… modernity says we can pretty much interchange them – so be it).

also, these characteristics, mannerisms, phrases, etc. are not exclusive to sociopathy. as a square can be a rectangle and that business, some antisocial personalities are not sociopathic ones while all sociopathic personalities are, by nature, antisocial. so if you find yourself displaying these attributes, it’s possible you’re not a sociopath at all. you might just be on the antisocial spectrum. to keep things perfectly reasonable, you might just be a complete asshole with a higher-than-average likelihood of being an abusive partner in any or every relationship anyone’s ever endured with you. in case you get confused, here’s a helpful diagram:

venndiagramso. let’s begin with the soft ones. the “maybe I’m an asshole” questions.

are you an asshole?

  • q1) do you find yourself acting out in incredulous ways over things like french-fries?
    frenchfriesfrenchfries2frenchfries3frenchfries4frenchfries5
  • q2) how often, on a scale of one to all-the-time, do you use the phrase, “I’m so, so sorry but…” and follow it with something along the lines of “I was drunk,” “you were being [something that made me this way]” or, the classic, “…but I LOVE you!” (ten points for the appeals straight to feelings of affection such as “don’t be so mad – I love you! I care so much about you! I know you feel the same way, babe, so don’t do this to us!”

A: if your answers were yes to q1 and/or more-than-once-a-week to q2… you’re most likely an asshole. if your answer to q2 was the ten-pointer and/or all-the-time, you’re definitely an asshole. likely abusive or likely to become abusive and probably antisocial.

okay, so you’re an asshole. but… are you really antisocial?

  • q1) do people often tell you that you’re an asshole?

A: if they do, this is likely due to your lack of respect for social norms, and can actually be filed into the antisocial category, not “just an asshole” category (sorry guys). with the example above from question 1, attacking the staff of McDonald’s for not giving you what you consider the proper amount of fries in your large fry container would put you into the “you’re an asshole” and definite antisocial behavior category, especially if similar behaviors are common (don’t worry, wee bee knows we all have our “fed up with this” crazy moments every now and again, and sometimes we may even go a little – or a lot – overboard, but if you react this way on a consistent basis, you’re probably an asshole with antisocial personality disorder).

  • q2.1) have you been in jail, to rehab, or any other correctional facilities (especially court-mandated ones)?
    q2.2) was your lock-up TOTES unjustified? unless, of course, you’re talking to a potential mate, in which case, you learned a valuable lesson?
    q2.3) should you have gone to jail, rehab, or any other correctional facilities, but managed to get out of it and you feel just so proud of the way you maneuvered the system, outsmarted, outran, or out-lawyered the courts?

A: if yes to q2, another point for antisocial. two points if it was court-mandated. if yes to 2.2 or 2.3, skip ahead to “are you a sociopath?”

  • q3) are you currently suffering from schizophrenia or bipolar disorder that is unstable?

A: it’s okay. we can’t label you as anything else clinically until we sort that out… even though the media loves them some stories of schizophrenics as dangerous beings. please return to this test at a later date when your other mental health issues are remiss.

  • q4) do you use caps-lock like, all the time, cuz it means you’re super serious and you want the other person to understand you’re text-screaming?
    capslockmeme
    q4.2) are you an animal meme?
    bearmeme

A: sorry, but this goes into the antisocial clusterfuck unless you’re a teenager/possible-adult who’s just super excited about something. if you’re an animal meme, it’s okay. we expect these things.

  • q5) do you just not give any shits?

A: lack of giving shits is actually tied to the overall lower anxiety of sociopaths, so another point for antisocial and an extra for sociopathy too!

  • q6) have you ever used this or a similar phrase: “i’m not racist but…” (you can substitute any number of things for racist, such as sexist, classist, etc.)
    notaracist

A: first off, you are in fact racist. second of all, if you attempt to convince the other person to your way of thinking using even more convoluted and racist/sexist/etc. terminology, please save the world some time and skip ahead to driving your car into a brick wall.

okay, so you’re definitely an asshole, probably antisocial. but that’s all just a bunch of baloney anyway, right? another attempt by society to put a label on you for being who you are… *cough-antisocial-cough*… it’s no biggie. as probably already known by all who know you, you don’t give a shit.

but seriously, are you a sociopath?

  • q1.1) do you find lying to others personally gratifying?
    q1.2) when someone calls you out on a lie, do you fight back, refusing to let go of the lie, streaming a constant barrage of even more complicated lies at them until they consent to accepting your lie(s)?
    q1.3) does this make you feel immensely powerful?
    liarman

A: if yes to any and/or all of the above, you’re definitely antisocial and probably a sociopath.

  • q2.1) do you feel pleasure from watching animals or humans suffer, especially in real-time either in person or from watching graphic online videos of horrible accidents, human or animal torture, or massive catastrophes?
  • q2.2) do you watch these videos/events and feel guilty watching them, but somebody shared it and a part of you can’t help but continue watching the travesty?

A: if yes to 2.2, especially if you cover your face and/or say “oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh” repeatedly, feel your stomach plummet, and wonder why the world is so terrible… it’s okay. you’re not a sociopath. if yes to 2.1, meaning you don’t suffer from watching these sufferings, it’s highly likely you’re a sociopath. proceed to 2.3 and 2.4.

  • q2.3) do you or did you ever laugh (and not self-consciously) from watching/witnessing these things?
  • q2.4) do you, have you ever, or would you really like to capture animals and torture them?

A: answering yes to either of these is extreme evidence for a lack of empathy and hallmark signs of sociopathy.

  • q3.1) do you have zero anxiety ever? (being angry because you feel you’re losing control over something/someone doesn’t count)
  • q3.2) are your only real (not acted-out) feelings anger, apathy, pleasure/euphoria and desire?

A: having a marked lack of anxiety and fear responses are classic symptoms of sociopathy, as is pretending to have the much broader range of emotions within the capacity of most humans. in fact, the pretend game is another classical form of manipulation for sociopaths, and if you’re really good at being a sociopath, you probably fool a lot of people by mirroring/pretending to have a variety of emotional reactions or even emotional/psychiatric problems like panic attacks in order to get attention/money/sympathy/whatever it is you want that gives you your superiority and continues your hold over others.

so you think you’re a sociopath

it’s best you have zero contact with any person or living being, because you will constantly be trying to make yourself feel more powerful through various physical and psychological means of manipulation. your only goal in life is self-gratification, and the rest of us better help with that or get out of your way. it’s your game, your rules, your ways and you’ll be damned if you don’t come out the winner. you’re not necessarily going to become a mass murderer, but you’re going to purposefully harm and manipulate others at your whim the rest of your life.

goodluck

wee bee takes DTC

again, wee bee isn’t dead yet. but if you want to see something more recent, a project for her digital technology & culture class, head on over to wolf bee’s tumblr

ooo wolf bee blog

ooo wolf bee blog

also, if you’ve happened upon this blog right here and think you’ve caught the wee bee involved in some sort act of character theft… well, she isn’t confirming or denying because she said some things about where she works so let’s just pretend you never found this sordid place and call it good…. mkay?

hope everybee had a blissful sunday!

why bloggers are winning the war of news

recently wee bee not only went from part-time to full-time in the land of telling students how they are being screwed by financial “aid” (and explaining things to students which, though publicly accessible knowledge and therefore non-firing offenses, would make most in the industry cringe), but she also became a part-time student (longer story) and a staff writer for a newspaper.

the key word here is “staff.” what “staff” means for a newspaper is essential. a freelancer is afforded much more, well, freedom, than a staffer. a staffer must, at all times, uphold the mighty laws of AP style, otherwise known as:

associated press

while seemingly innocuous at first glance, this grand book of style (or basically, how to avoid it) is most likely the culprit behind newspapers going out of the biz. and don’t let the hoopla distract you — for those who claim that no press is unbiased are correct, and likewise, those who claim AP style turns amazing stories into sandpaper-like textbooks are also correct.

like any rules, those who want to get around them can, and do, and it is easily done. can’t write your own opinion directly into the story? no problem. find people with your opinion and give them a brilliant exposé.

essentially, the number one rule associated press style attempts to ingrain is an utter failure. what, then, does the style end up doing? turning the rest of the damned story into a style-less, class-less, grating piece of dung.

everything wee bee loves about writing is swiftly hammered down with the editor’s singing of AP style praises on high: uphold the journalistic laws! he crows. and wee bee manages to lose even more precious inches.

be unbiased! they say.

impossible.

throw editorial writing out with contractions!

very boring, really. and quite unnecessary.

proper capitalization is very important. titles are important. passive voice is not to be tolerated, and neither is fancy writing that takes up space. mind your affect along with those p’s and q’s and word-count. absolutely no dashes. no puns.

honestly, wee bee is not sure if this can be considered writing at all. she understands the principles of journalism, but nobody minds them save for those going out of business — and even they are usually stretching things. this is why bloggers and the bill o’reilly’s and the stephen colbert’s are winning. excitement, opinion, and impressively used strings of wonderful words that move people.

so, do you want to save the news? then fuck associated press.