one month, one novel

wee bee has fallen a bit off the writing bandwagon. to get her rolling again, she is undertaking the NaNoWriMo challenge – to write an original novel of at least 50,000 words in the month of november. since the novel she has been writing (or, more so as of late, avoiding) concerns a psychopathic antihero, and she has hit some roadblocks after finishing the initial draft of the novel, she has decided to use all of her research into psychopathy to write, essentially, an opposite novel.

this novel will be written following a main character who is himself a psychopath, and like many psychopaths, bridges on having psychosis – he believes natural disasters are the result of mundane things like his bodily functions – and is unaware he is a psychopath.

for the month of november, wee bee is going to have a new page on her blog where she updates about the novel, its progress, and gives samples, and at the end of the month, no matter the state of the novel, it will be available for a limited time to download from weebeebird.com.

if you’d like to join in this intense adventure with weebee, just go to the link above and sign up – it’s totally free – and become friends with weebee. if it’s not your thing but you’re still interested in what sort of madness of a novel results from one month of writing, well, it’s your lucky month, because whatever novel results from this, you’ll have the chance to view it. not only that, you’ll be able to follow along as wee bee probably becomes psychotic herself from the process of flushing out a novel in the course of one month.

so, happy halloween, and cheers to national novel writing month, which begins tomorrow!

note: for followers of wee bee, please understand that the novel will be written more traditionally (there will be capital letters)

a busted government

wee bee is very happy about the new writing challenge because all things government seem to be colliding and interfering with the bee family.

photo(1)

let’s go back in time to when wee bee slept with the dude who fucks children and animals for a second, because at precisely the same time that a mentally disturbed citizen contract worker started shooting up a building in the DC naval yard, wee bee woke up and told the dude who fucks children and animals “something’s wrong.” that something was the citizen shooter, who happened to be shooting brother bee #1′s facility of employment… on brother bee’s wife’s birthday. it was a tragedy to make headlines and history in the us of a; one that questioned the safety of workers in supposedly secure buildings as well as opened dialogue concerning mental illness in this country (other than your run-of-the-mill DC political insanity, of course), and also scared the shit out of the bee family and ruined yet another of sis-in-law’s birthdays due to the government not really caring when your wife’s birthday is.

now, let’s tackle the government shutdown. the government shut down on mamma and papa bees’ anniversary… again. that’s right, this has happened before – while wee bee was in gestation. that government shutdown, in ’87, was the reason papa bee eventually got out of the navy. though that shutdown was brief, he was waiting for the opportunity to reenlist once the government agreed about reenlistment benefits, but the government was being obstinate, and papa bee was no longer covered under military health insurance, and was denied access to medical care in the midst of a blustery idaho winter when everyone in the family was suffering severe colds and infections and mamma bee was six months pregnant with wee bee. when brother bee #2′s eardrums burst from infection, papa bee finally told the military to screw off – he wasn’t waiting around for the government to figure out its business while his family suffered.

oddly enough, so many years later, the bee family is suffering from the same affliction. wee bee finally found an awesome job opportunity, but the facility’s operations are funded by the government. not only can they not hire new employ during the shutdown, but if the shutdown does not itself shut down by the end of the week, the place of all wee bee’s future hopes and desires to get her life back on track has to also be completely shut down. pearl bee, one of wee bee’s most favorite bees in the world, currently works at this facility and, like so many, faces being jobless for weeks or months as politicians bicker battle it out in the capitol.

though brother bee #1 has not yet been furloughed, he still runs that risk if the government shut down doesn’t end, which would be a financial catastrophe for his family, as the cost of living in the DC area is astronomical. not mention his wife, whose birthday was so recently ruined, is set for surgery, and their three little ones are always in need of some form of medical attention.

brother bee #1 risks the possibility of furlough as a civilian worker in DC, but brother bee #2 is active duty military. so, you’d think he would be at least mostly okay. not true. brother bee #2 currently suffers from another, still very current problem – the us of a’s declaration of war on… well, whatever it was we thought we were supposed to be fighting. this brother bee sustained injuries in his deployment to iraq, suffers from post-traumatic stress (which he informed wee bee he could not seek counseling for because he feared it would end his career in the military), and now his wife is headed to afghanistan – approximately one month after she declared to brother bee she wanted a divorce and apparently wants nothing to do with their child. this means that, given his wife’s desires and her impending deployment to the war in afghanistan, brother bee #2 will likely have to leave the military, and nephew #4 will not just be motherless like so many others because of a questionable war taking her away, but because his mother preferred to be a single woman fighting wars rather than be his mother.

the real tragedy of that situation is the ultimate possibility that, knowing of the risk of going to war again, sis-in-law #2 is yet another victim of the us of a’s wars. she has admitted and sought counseling for depression, and has distanced herself from her child ever more progressively since her redeployment was declared and she was sent to training. if she is suffering and distancing herself intentionally from her child because of fear for the worst, her child faces the possibility of growing up never knowing the truth of his abandonment should she become yet another name of the fallen from this nation’s wars, and wee bee’s brother never learns the reason his wife left him and his child.

even for those not suffering mental, physical or financial ramifications personally from the actions of our government, these things have a trickle-down effect on everyone. when issues cannot be solved, when the government shuts down, when the nation declares war, every person is affected. your loved one may not have been shot in the naval yard shooting, but the implications of a known worker suffering from psychosis being allowed into a government building could change the course of treatment of individuals with mental illness all over the country. you may not have been forced to get a different job because of a government shutdown, but perhaps you hired someone who was, or are sitting next to them. maybe your father needs social security. or even, perhaps, you will bump into a woman on the streets who lost everything because her government drilled war into her brain, and ignored her when she cried for help.

198900_4622465921_3881_n

wee bee vs. mamma bee

this week, the daily post bees are asking about genetics (though, what they are really asking about is a broad-spectrum analysis of similarities or correlations which, by definition, may be due to genetics, may be due to environment, may be due to environment mixing with genetics – epigenetics, or may be due to strict coincidence). in any case, the one person whom wee bee thinks of immediately in this case is the mother bee.

wee bee vs mamma bee

it seems that wee bee is always learning knew things about mamma bee, but they almost never come from mamma bee herself. papa bee is a strict believer that all problems of mamma vs wee bee boil down to that mamma and wee bee are too similar.

wee bee: the problem isn’t our similarity of temperament but our dissimilarity of absolutely everything else

mamma bee loves to read and write. she loves art. she even wanted to be a writer and started a book once. here is the “but”: mamma bee sees no value in art which is neither tame nor traditionally beautiful and/or picturesque. an “unhappy” ending to any story, whether written or watched, is unacceptable. and last but not least, mamma bee’s novel (which wee bee finally hunted down and partially read) was very much the same as the novels mamma bee primarily reads, the kind which make wee bee roll her eyes and wonder how literature has survived at all – a run-of-the-mill romance story.

for the previous some-odd years, wee bee has been dying her hair varying shades of red and mamma bee always expresses the greatest disapproval of this hair color. wee bee and mamma bee would often get into the same tired argument over it time and time again:

mamma bee: idk why you keep dying your hair red

wee bee: bcs i like red hair

mamma bee: people don’t like redheads, wee bee. people have a negative visceral reaction to people with red hair.

wee bee: people have a negativistic view of gingers and an autonomic-based visceral reaction to the color red which has nothing to do with hair or even likability in general.

mamma bee: well… i guess i just liked you as a blonde. that’s how you were born.

here comes the weird. in the romance novel which mamma bee had been writing, the main character had red hair. it was one of the main defining characteristics of the heroine. mamma bee went into great detail explaining this woman’s red hair.

now, one of the main ways researchers, especially psychologists, try to understand the genetic inheritance of random things like preferences is through twin studies. the most compelling, freakish ones being identical twins reared apart (same genes, different environments). it turns out that if identical twins don’t know about one another, they’re prone to do really weird things which wouldn’t seem to otherwise be connected to genetics, like picking wives with exactly the same names, naming their children the same, choosing the same brands of things like toothpaste. trust wee bee. it is mindblowing.

however, identical twins raised together tend to, for obvious reasons, intentionally differ themselves from one another. in a similar fashion, wee bee always liked red hair. she liked having red hair. she may even have liked the fact that her mother was so against her having red hair. but the second she hunted down mamma bee’s novel, thereby getting inside mamma bee’s head, and the entire phenomenon of mamma bee secretly liking red hair while constantly expressing disdain for it to wee bee has completely screwed with wee bee’s head to the point that she stopped dying her hair, letting the red fade, and then finally bleaching it out altogether.

because both wee bee and mamma bee tend to be so guarded and private about certain things, in some ways they are akin to twins raised apart. wee bee has learned from sister-in-law bee that mamma bee even has struggled with depression and anxiety and has been on and off xanax for a long while. she has learned from her mother’s story that she secretly wishes she had red hair. when she was a child, wee bee found a pack of cigarettes hidden away in mamma bee’s closet. when it comes to genetics, the similarities range from the straightforward, pale-skin type inheritances to psychological similarities in cognition and mannerisms, all the way to the most baffling and unbelievable – things like red hair.

wee bee fucks a dude who fucks children and animals

suffice it to say, there is a backstory to this post which includes wee bee and snowpile having a falling out. after falling out, wee bee rebounded. wee bee thought “here is just a really nice guy going out of his way to help me.” she neglected to care for the first few days of knowing him that every time he opened his mouth she wanted to punch him in the face.

photo(3)

still, in the aftermath of her relationship with snowpile, wee bee felt this guy was okay. for a while. she knew she would probably not be capable of tolerating him for long, but his constant texting, calling and showing up at her house with movies and food kept her from degrading into crying on the couch and listening to depressing music on repeat for days on end. which is what she likely would have done if the dude who fucks children and animals hadn’t come into her life.

she really felt guilty about sleeping with him at first, in all honesty. she realized after she did it that she was a terrible person still hung up on snowpile, and this poor guy just got caught up in wee bee’s emotional rebound and ended up with strong feelings of likeability for wee bee. as the days progressed, wee bee felt more and more guilty as he made his strong feelings extra clear.

good thing for wee bee, his extra strong feelings came in the flavor of psychopath ex-husband, and very quickly she did not feel guilty for this man. after only a few days of knowing her, he told everyone in his family and friend circle that he and wee bee were in an exclusive relationship. he even admitted to using the phrase “too bad; i have dibs” to one of his family members who wee bee had previously turned down.

wee bee: you have dibs?

dude who fucks children and animals (contorting the meaning of his original statement): well, what i mean is, you called dibs. right, you know? because you turned down [family member] but said yes to me. so technically you called dibs.

wee bee did not call dibs. wee bee agreed to one date after this man had helped her bring wolf bee home, and was not calling dibs nor had ever entered a conversation about being in an exclusive or serious relationship with this person, whom she barely knew in the first place. wee bee did what she does when she is in a relationship conundrum and called ashley bee.

ashley bee: he sounds like a clinger

wee bee: yeah, that could be it. idk. i think there’s something wrong with him.

ashley bee: maybe, but listen, he’s probably just an overly nice guy who comes on too strong and clings. you gotta end it soon bcs the longer it goes on with a clinger the worse it is getting rid of them.

wee bee’s friend pearl bee said essentially the same thing. wee bee was totally confused about whether or not this guy was a nice clinger or something sinister. it was a feeling she couldn’t shake. wee bee went to therapist bee.

wee bee: i gotta get rid of this guy

therapist bee (gives answer in the affirmative)

wee bee: idk if he’s a psychopath or not but i don’t really want to stick around long enough to find out.

well, this guy didn’t take hints well. he didn’t take hints at all. he twisted your hints into whatever he could to insist on spending time together. wee bee was finally done. as it turned out, the dude who fucks children and animals was rooming with a begenius wee bee hadn’t seen since high school. so after debating the appropriateness of this for two days, she facebooked this begenius from her past.

wee bee: let’s see if your genius is still working. you’ve lived with this guy for a few months now… psychological profile – go.

begenius: so before i say anything, do you like him or are you asking if it’s “not just you”

wee bee: at this point i’m certain he’s sketchy at best, psychopath at worst

as it turned out, this nice guy did not give wee bee his real name. thanks to the help of the begenius from her childhood years, she was able to google and find him and it as it turned out, he was a dude who fucks children and animals. he had convictions in multiple states. apparently he was in hiding in bee town. wee bee wasn’t sure why he was suddenly talking about moving out from the begenius’ place, but it’s because the night that he helped wee bee get wolf bee home, a police officer pulled over to see what was going on and ran his plates and he then became a registered sex offender in the state and was evicted.

wee bee went to the police first thing the next day. the dude who fucks children and animals knew she was a nanny for thing 1 and thing 2 and had told him where they go to school. his constant questions about them made her uneasy, so she never told him their names or information, but was in a fit of

omg omg omg he’s a pedophile omg omg

so she went to the police, who at this point, only knew of one conviction which they stated was within the previous year. wee bee informed the police bee that google had a lot more than whatever their system was coming up with, and police bee told wee bee to go to the school.

the school had no record of him as a registered sex offender, since he wasn’t registered until the wolf bee incident brought him out of hiding. wee bee had to google him and give that to the school principal. then she told off the dude who fucks children and animals by text, as per the police bee’s recommendation.

photo(4)

she is now set in her house for a full scale invasion. after sending the text, it occurred to wee bee that perhaps this would anger the dude who fucks children and animals. since he knows where she lives and that she lives alone, she set up her house home-alone style. every window and door is in some way booby trapped; she has a switch-blade, pepper spray, a hunting knife, two skillets, a carpenter’s hammer, a carving knife, a high-powered drill with a thick drill bit and last but not least, wolf bee. who already bit the dude. because wolf bee is awesome.

unfortunately, while wee bee alternates between fleeting senses of paranoia and “bring it on dude who fucks children and animals,” she is constantly struck by the extremely uncomfortable reality:

i fucked a dude who fucks children and animals

things change

that email, he said, and she knew exactly which one he meant. were you serious?

they were back at his home now, curled into and around one another on the couch like lazy pups. she said that yes, she was serious.

were you drunk?

yes, she was drunk. she was drunk, but also, she was serious. now, sober and on his couch and in his arms again, she felt awkward and embarrassed, and she wondered if she was blushing though she was still glad in a way that he brought it up.

well, he sighed again.

what? she said. he wrapped himself tighter around her, kissed her shoulder.

it changes things, he said.

she did not know what things it changed, and she did not ask.